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  • Sam Casey

Five Poems

Camilla's Cry

When I died, I had no pennies on my eyes

So I used my body as a bargain for the trip

Charon's embrace felt warm in the desolate space

The boat rocked on the still waters of Styx.

When we docked, I went to look for the plains of Elysium

Where I was sure I would find my resting place.

I found the warrior kings and queens

And searched for my sisters of war and hate

But though I occupied the same liminal space

The shades refused to look me in the face

Even the women who I had fought next to,

Lived next to, loved next to, refused to offer a word

To me. I looked down at my body, ravaged by war

And now ravaged by man and knew I must find my own space

To occupy for eternity. I left my sisters,

Cold with rejection and wandered the plains of hell

Alone, hoping to heal from a lover's embrace.

 
Diving Into Insanity

Whisper in my ear, my sweet, stare into my soul, my love

Insatiate me with your wicked deeds and wilting pleas

Drive me to the brink my dear and leave me breathless

Pleading for you near


When I'm lonely, you keep my company

When I'm breaking, you keep me moving,

Trailing pieces of sanity in my wake, feeding me fresh

Carnage to fuel my break


Damned am I to toil with you for eternity

Madness may make good company, but love

For you does not remain when rejection is

Rejected, never alone.


With you, my hated spouse, I'll wait out my sentence,

Resign myself to chains. Do to me what you shall,

For you might control my mind, but you'll never

Take my heart.

 
Daddy's Song

Daddy would sing about ponies and cowpokes

To my little brother and me. We sat at the edge of the bed,

As he strummed along, enchanted by the simple melody. As we got older

The songs got darker, philandering women

And men sent to prison, but the enchantment of music never wore off

When he would sing of loss and loneliness,

We'd join along at the chorus like three desperate strangers

Begging the world for company. When he died

We lost our music and our soul,

But every once and a while the radio plays one of his old songs

And we hear him still as we hum along

 
Voice

Oh dear God please don't let me be alone with myself

For too long. I'll call out to Aphrodite, Mars, Demeter too,

Begging to be fucked, killed and reinvigorated with youth.

Spiteful Aphrodite, please, hear my call,

I don't need someone to fall in love, for anyone

Will do. Quick fuck and I'm good, if you will

Allow it. Mars, I need your help. I need to die

To be reborn. I'll enter in your war, if you'll entertain

My request. Lastly but with most piousness,

Demeter I do entreat, make me virginal again.

I can not live without doing what I did, but I cannot

Live having done it yet again. Make me clean,

Make me right and all my riches will be yours.

I have not more to offer you than what in my heart I store.

Gods and Goddesses, keep me company,

For if I stay here alone, I'm afraid I'll drink from Lethe.

Now is not the time to regret, but rather to rejoice!

For if the end is near, at least I'll have a voice.

 
Self-Image

Here I am, waiting to be swept off my feet,

Yet no one is near. I sit, in my fatness, because

I guess I'm fat now, and wonder how I got here.

Was it the antidepressants (probably), was it the lack of working out (probably),

Or maybe the overeating. I'm afraid, partly because

No one will ever love me, but mostly because

I'm happy with what I have. Is this happiness

Manufactured? Is it blurring my recognition

Of addiction to food, porn, and alcohol?

Or am I just making problems when there are none,

Looking for something to fix. All I know

Is that I traded my beautiful body for happiness.

I've traded my body for a lot less, but it still feels just the same

 

Sam Casey is a Military Instructor in the English Department at the United States Naval Academy. She enjoys sailing, playing rugby, and reading poetry. She has been published under pen-name Porter Jenkins with The Minison Project: Sonnet Collection vol 4, and Wrong Turn Lit. Her Poetry Collection, Erotic Trauma, will be published with the Naked Cat in October of 2023.


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